New snake oil? Etsy witches are hawking spells they claim can change the weather on your wedding day, help you with your love life, or fatten your crypto portfolio.
Etsy witches have become a massive trend on social media this year — from romance spells to helping manifest fame. Did you know they can also apparently help you become a crypto millionaire?
The practice of witchcraft, once punishable by death by fire (or being pushed off a cliff), has become a talking point on TikTok.
Online marketplace Etsy, which allows people to sell their handmade beanies and custom dog collars, has become a hub for the spellcasters despite having a ban on “metaphysical services.”
Become a millionaire with this one simple spell
One listing Cointelegraph found offers custom crypto spells that consist of a “powerful manifestation ritual that combines spiritual alignment” with the individual’s own crypto investments and portfolio.
“Are you ready to boost your cryptocurrency portfolio and attract unstoppable prosperity? This Custom Crypto Spell is designed to magnetize money, amplify your energy, and align your trading success with the flow of abundance,” it reads.
The seller offers basic spells for $20. For the bigger returns, buyers “need” to spend up to $42 for an advanced spell or $73 for the crypto “millionaire spell.”
The details are vague. The seller notes in the description that they will help manifest abundance relating to the buyer’s financial goals, and align personal energy with “the prosperity flow of the crypto markets.”
Specific time frames are not mentioned, and there is also a disclaimer at the bottom that says: “all readings are for spiritual guidance and entertainment. Outcomes cannot be guaranteed.”
It doesn’t just stop at witchcraft, either. There are also multiple sellers on Etsy offering services like “Bitcoin Oracle Cards,” which allow clients to read their future. The cards are apparently made with “magic, love,” and “crypto spirit.”
Another service, a “Dogecoin wealth ritual,” has little explanation but appears to involve the seller using objects like candles and crystals in a video to set the mood for casting the customized DOGE spell. It also includes some downloadable pictures featuring positive affirmations.
The trend isn’t lost on the crypto community, and some were quick to ridicule it.
In a post on Thursday in the r/Bitcoin community, user “spacticity” claimed to have “paid an Etsy witch” to cast a spell ensuring the price of Bitcoin (BTC) hits $200,000 by January 2027.
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“I also told her that it would be fine if Bitcoin went even higher before then, but that the spell needs to make Bitcoin go up. She lit a candle and used some moon water or some shit, I don’t know the details,” they wrote, adding:
“This is a sure thing, it’s fool-proof, and it couldn’t go tits up, so make sure to buy now while you still can.”
Who’s paying for witchcraft on Etsy
Unique offerings such as these are part of a broader trend on the platform, with a host of Etsy witches and wizards offering spells on anything from financial abundance to good weather and luck with romantic partners.
While some new witchcraft accounts have low sales numbers, others that have been around longer have thousands of sales, with feedback ratings between 4.5 and 5 stars.
One account called “NaturalisticBlessing,” which also offers services like palm readings in addition to spells, has been on Etsy for four years and has achieved a staggering 120,000 sales at a general price of $18 per item.
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